11:30am. Tuesday. Let me set the stage.
Empty gym minus me and some other cardio diehards, few trainers, and two women.
Me: Upstairs on treadmill over looking the downstairs level where the two women reside.
Woman #1: Adorns only a thin sports bra, biker shorts, bleached hair with black roots and a Mystic Tan gone wrong (Think: Friends episode where Ross gets 2 2's only on the front). She walks with her arms a little further out then natural, I am guessing to make space for her guns, which are non-existent.
Woman #2: Aimlessly wandering the weight equipment looking for a piece she may be able to fit on. Can't locate said equipment. Decides on the mat in the left top corner (overlooking from the cardio room) to attempt crunches.
Woman #2 is furiously trying to complete a single crunch, and can't get much but her head off the blue mat. Continues to do "head-ups," for a minute or so. Woman #1 is walking, arms out, looking for a spot to continue her practice of posing for herself in the mirror. Settles on the corner where Woman #2 is head-up'ing. Proceeds to practice her poses for Miss Fitness Reject USA standing over the bobbing, crunching hippo.
Every other corner is empty. Every other corner has mirrors for Miss Fitness Reject USA to practice her heinous posing. Yet, she chooses to pose over the hippo. Sad she has to boost her confidence by visually comparing herself an animal who only bobs its head out of water for air and is the heaviest land mammal.
-AA
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