Monday, June 2, 2008

Accidental Flatulence, but not for some

Yoga. Let's do a little word association.

Tranquility, stress relief, flexibility, and RANCK ASS? Can you pick which one does not fit?

I joined what I thought was a "yoga mat for all class" last week on a whim. I recognized a few people in the class so I thought it was going to be all fine... I was entirely wrong.

There was much rolling around on the stomach with a Styrofoam cylinder, massaging of the belly in a figure 8 pattern, and other strange instances. About 15 minutes into the class and the Buddha belly rubbing, I realized that it had not brought me good luck. In fact there had been more then one instance of a patron in my class *cough* letting one rip. I giggled, probably a little too loudly, but kept going. The exercises and poses we embarked on were not that of a normal yoga class.

At the end of the class, post stink-bomb after stink-bomb with NO one else giggling, I notice a flyer on the door. I had somehow placed myself in a "Digestive Health Yoga" class that is offered a few times a month. The instructor's last words went something like, "I believe you should have an easier time passing a bowel after our work. Nameste."

The worst part is I see these people at the gym, frequently. Now, I am just another girl with constipation who has to attend a yoga class to poop. Terrible rep to have at the facility.

-AA

1 comment:

Unknown said...

you are a good writer...keep it up...funny and descriptive...